What Does “Normal” Sleep Even Mean? Cultural Considerations for Ethical Sleep Programming

As behavior analysts—and especially as Certified Behavioral Sleep Educators—it’s our responsibility to support healthy, functional sleep for the learners and families we serve. But here’s the challenge: sleep isn’t one-size-fits-all. The way families sleep, when they sleep, and with whom they sleep are all deeply influenced by cultural norms and values. When we walk into a home or clinic with a rigid definition of what “normal” sleep looks like, we risk missing the mark—and doing more harm than good.

Let’s be honest. Most of us were trained to think in terms of standard sleep expectations: children sleep alone, in their own bed, with lights off, from 8:00 PM to 7:00 AM, and ideally without interruption. But for many families, that’s not just unrealistic—it’s not even the goal.

In some cultures, it’s completely typical for the entire family to sleep in one room well into adolescence or beyond. Other families may have a shared sleep space due to space limitations, extended family living situations, or simply preference. In some households, dinner happens at 9:00 or 10:00 PM and bedtime follows much later. Morning wake-ups might not happen until mid-morning. Some caregivers work night shifts and adjust the entire household’s sleep schedule accordingly. Others maintain daytime naps through elementary school and shift bedtime much later as a result.

So what do we do when sleep routines don’t match our training or expectations? We stop and ask one essential question:

Is the current system sustainable for the learner and their family?

That’s it. That’s the litmus test.

If a family is getting adequate sleep, meeting daily responsibilities, and reports that their current sleep setup is working—there’s nothing to fix. Our job isn’t to impose our values or schedules. Our job is to assess sustainability and support functionality.

But if the system isn’t sustainable—if a child or caregiver is chronically tired, if sessions are being canceled due to poor sleep, or if a family shares that their current setup just isn’t working anymore—that’s when it’s time to explore a plan that improves sleep while respecting family culture.

Here’s how we can do that:

1. Start With Questions, Not Assumptions

Ask caregivers how sleep typically works in their household. Who sleeps where? What’s the usual bedtime? Are there cultural or religious practices, work schedules or sibling needs that shape the nightly routine? Starting with curiosity creates trust—and helps avoid interventions that unintentionally undermine family values.

2. Assess Sustainability and Satisfaction

Instead of jumping to solutions, ask if the current system works for the family. Is everyone getting enough sleep? Are they happy with the routine? If not, ask why—and listen carefully before offering suggestions.

3. Build Around What’s Already Working

If a family co-sleeps and it’s working for everyone, don’t recommend solo sleep unless it’s requested. If bedtime is late but consistent, there may be no need to move it earlier. Align your interventions with family preferences and the rhythm of their daily life.

4. Avoid Eurocentric Sleep Norms

Many traditional Western sleep ideals (like solitary sleep, lights out at 8:00, or sleeping through the night without interruption) are not universal—and not necessarily better. Don’t let personal experiences or training cloud your recommendations.

5. Focus on Flexibility and Fit

Sometimes a culturally sensitive plan means developing new routines that honor family dynamics while making space for behavioral improvements. Use gradual shaping, provide visual supports in the home language, and schedule transitions at times that fit with the family’s evening structure.

When we take family culture into account, we increase the likelihood that sleep plans will not only be implemented, but maintained. A well-designed sleep intervention doesn’t just check the boxes on sleep hygiene—it fits into a family’s real life, supports their values, and ultimately makes everyone’s life easier.

Remember: good sleep comes in many forms. Our role isn’t to define what sleep should look like—it’s to help families get more of the sleep they need, in the way that works best for them.

🌙 Want to learn how to design ethical, culturally sensitive sleep plans that get real results? Enrollment is now open for the June and August cohorts of The Sleep Collective. Spots are limited—reserve your seat today and become a Certified Behavioral Sleep Educator!